To Free or Not to Free

The other day, while searching for freebies, I read a letter denigrating "Free Sample Trolls" as stingy folks who spend hours a day requesting handouts in the form of free products or recipes. While I don't condone pestering small-business owners with requests for product samples or marketing merchandise (T-shirts, mugs, pruning shears, etc.), I'm all about taking what I can get from the big-budget corporations that spend millions on advertising. When I happen upon a free sample offer, I ask myself a few simple questions:

• Am I familiar with the company and/or product?
  
• Can I sing the jingle?
  
• Could I identify the logo in a corporate lineup?
  
• Has the company's slogan become part of my phraseology? (ex. "I feel like chicken tonight, like chicken tonight.

If I answer "yes" to any of the criteria, then I deserve a free sample of that company's product, without the intention of ever purchasing that product in the future. I consider it payment for leasing valuable brain space. There are many, many things that I cannot remember (my nephews' birthdays, for instance, or how to spell "Cincinnati" ), but I can't forget "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions, on a sesame seed bun," or "Love the skin you're in."

With that said, click here for a free sample offer from the corporation Americans turn to when they care enough to send the very best.