A Few Thoughts about Mindfulness

Fellow PF Bloggers, it's time for a reality check. First, let me say that I enjoy reading everyone's blogs and that I think what we are all trying to do in terms of fiscal responsibility is commendable, but I also think that sometimes we are too hard on ourselves. (We're PF Bloggers not PF Floggers, right?) I often read posts in which bloggers beat themselves up for buying this or that or see comments left by readers who criticize others for not being frugal enough. Case and point: I actually had someone tsk-tsk me for buying my favorite cereal (Barbara's Peanut Butter Puffins) because he said cereal is overpriced and I was wasting money. Well, too bad.

A few years ago, a friend of mine gave a lecture on mindfulness, the practice of being fully aware of everything we do. I think we are all pretty aware of every cent we spend and don't spend, save or don't save. It is mindless spending that gets folks into financial trouble—the impulse purchase; the buying-something-just-to-buy-something syndrome; the habit of spending out of laziness. We all have to spend money. Let me say that again—we all have to spend money. And if we get enjoyment out of the thing we're spending money on, why should we feel guilty? Granted, if you don't have the money, and you have to borrow it (e.g. pull out the credit card) then maybe you should refrain, but if it's between putting $50 in your savings or 401K or going out on the town with good friends, by all means go out with your friends and don't feel guilty about it the next day!

I'm not suggesting that we all stop paying down our debt, and I'm certainly not condoning going further into debt, but I am offering a bit of a reprieve now and again from our hyper-frugal lifestyles. There are many enjoyable things in life that are free and there are many enjoyable things in life that cost money. I truly enjoy going out for an ice cream cone every once in a while. Yes, I could buy a carton of ice cream at the grocery store for the price of one cone, but it's not the same because it's not just about the ice cream—it's the experience of sitting outside at the ice cream stand at dusk under the orange sulfur lights, watching other people enjoy their cones, too.

The last few months, I've fallen into the hyper-frugal mindset because we've been saving for a house. I can think of at least three occasions when Pancake asked me out for ice cream and I said no because I didn't want to spend the money. I'm sorry for that. I'm sorry I missed those opportunities.