Sweet Holy Moses, Set a Closing Date, Will Ya!

I've never felt as powerless as I have these last few weeks while we wait for everyone involved in the buying of our house (lawyer, title searcher, lender, insurer, etc.) to get their collective acts together. Everyday the [insert participant] tells us he can't [insert action necessary to set closing date] until the [insert participant] supplies him with some document that [insert participant] insists was sent two weeks ago. As of 8:53 am we're waiting for the insurance company to issue a binder so the lender will issue a clear to close so the lawyer can schedule a walk-through and then the closing. But wait...the lawyer said that his schedule for next week is filling up and if this doesn't get resolved soon, we might have to wait another week! Please, please,please, don't make me wait another week. Don't they understand that I'm living with my in-laws! If they only knew how every night I sit on the couch next to my father-in-law, who nods off while cradling the remote control, making it impossible for me to change the station to Law & Order, surely they would put a rush on our purchase.